Have you lost the love of your life? Has the girl you thought you would be with forever left you for another man? Are you looking to get your ex-girlfriend back after a break up, to win her from another man or just to impress her again?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this article can help. This might be a dark and depressing time for you, but it doesn’t need to be and there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel.
The good news is that you don’t need to let that relationship slip through your fingers, you don’t need to give up hope.
Deep down, there’s a good chance that she still likes you, that she misses you. You just need to remind her of those feelings.
In this article, we’ll help you t do just that. With a few tips from our experienced dating experts, along with some tried and tested advice, we’ll tell you how to get your ex back.
9. Know The Basics to Get yOUr Ex-Girlfriend Back
Before we get into the meat of this article, and before we unleash some of our best tricks and techniques on how to win a girl back, we need to ensure you have the basics down to a tee.
Because if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you have to make sure that you stick to a few basic “do’s” and “do not’s”.
- Do — Know What you Want: Being single can be a fun and exciting time, but the shock of losing someone can make you think that you need them more than you actually did.
Give yourself some time to think it through and make sure you really do want to get your ex-girlfriend back, and that you want to wave goodbye to your newfound single life.
- Do — Try To Understand: Before you discover how to get her back, you need to know what you did wrong to lose her in the first place. Were there any signs, did she say anything, did her friends say anything?
The answers are there, you just need to find them.
- Do — Be Prepared to Work: It is not going to be easy, and you need to be prepared to work hard to get what you want. If she’s not worth it, then think twice, because you might be better off single.
- Do Not — Contact Her for at Least Two to Four Weeks: You do not want to come across as desperate and you certainly do not want to annoy her. So, don’t pester her and don’t try to get in touch for at least a couple of weeks.
- Do Not — Be Desperate: You will see her again, and when you do, you need to be casual. Don’t show her that you are hurting and do not turn into a bubbling wreck, because this is not the attitude of a winner and it’s not the attitude of the man that your ex wants to be with.
- Do Not — Lose Touch: Do not let her wipe you out of her life and do not cut off your nose to spite your face. If she wants to be friends, then be friends. You need this contact to get her back, as we’ll learn in this article.
- Do Not — Seek Revenge: If you act out in an effort to hurt you ex and to get back at her, then you will ruin any hope you have of getting her back in the future. Avoid the temptation, no matter how strong it is.
8. Improve Yourself
There was a reason she left you and while there is little chance of figuring this out, you can improve yourself in all areas to offer her the complete package. You can be the man she wants and the man she always wanted.
You might think that you know your ex-girlfriend better than anyone, and you might think that she wouldn’t have such shallow thoughts. But you’re wrong.
Look at it this way, if you really do know her so well and you really were the person she wanted to be with, then why did she leave you? The truth is that deep down, all women, and all humans in general, are vain.
Luckily, you can use this to your advantage, making a few changes that will attract her attention and make her think twice whenever she tells herself that the decision to leave you was the right one.
Improve Your Appearance
Be honest with yourself for a moment. If you see a woman with a beautiful body at the beach, at the supermarket or on the street, you’re going to stop, stare and daydream just for a moment.
Women tend to be less obvious and they prefer to come across as less vain and less shallow, but believe it or not, they are just as bad as we are. They are human after all, and all humans are focused on looks, whether they admit it or not.
So, give yourself a makeover, get a haircut, fix your teeth, lift some weights, lose some weight. You would be amazed at how quickly you can transform yourself if you put the time, the effort and the money in, and how easy it is to put that time in if you have such an important goal to achieve.
Once you have made the change, make sure your ex-girlfriend sees the new you. Post some pictures on Facebook or other social networks and make them public (visible to everyone), wear tight tee-shirts and pay a visit to a place where you know she will be.
Advance Your Career
Push yourself towards that promotion, give your creative endeavors the extra effort they need to succeed— do all you can to be more successful, to earn more money, and to make your ex- girlfriend jealous.
Although they are just as focused on looks as we are, women of a certain age also want a man who can look after them financially.
If they are successful themselves, they’ll want someone who can match their dedication and equal their paycheck. If not, they’ll want someone who can carry them, buy them nice things and take them places.
Make The Changes She Wanted
Relationships can deteriorate because they are stuck in a rut. And if you want to get you ex-girlfriend back, it might just be a case of changing into the man she wanted you to be.
You might have stalled on her desire to start a family, buy a new home or move to a new location, in which case now is the time to show her that you are ready to make those changes.
Of course, there’s no point in doing that if she doesn’t find out, and you also don’t want to be obvious about it. You want her to believe that the break-up sparked you into life, and not that you’re doing all of this for her.
7. Move Fast
Don’t have the time to slowly and gradually improve yourself? There are some quicker ways to get your ex-girlfriend back after a break up, and ways that you don’t need to devote a lot of time to.
- Apologize: Relationships are tug-of-wars, constant battles where neither side is willing to back down. However, backing down, swallowing your pride and apologizing is sometimes just what you need to do to win her back.
- Give Her What She Wants: She finished with you for a reason, and if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, then you need to find out what that reason was and then deal with it. Change if need to be, make sacrifices — do what needs to be done.
If that fails, there are other things you can do that might help you to get you ex-girlfriend back in a hurry:
- Wealth: A great way to get your ex-girlfriend back in a hurry is to let her believe that you have taken a huge leap forward in your career. So, flash the cash. Rent an expensive sports car and let her see you in it. Rent some flash jewelry. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to look like you have a lot of money.
- Get the Look: A little improvement in your physical self can go a long way, especially when it’s backed up by a keen fashion sense. Improve your wardrobe, get a tailored suit and buy the best brands — women love a man with a good fashion sense, and if you wear it with confidence, they’ll regret letting you go.
- Be Confident: Confidence is also a great way to get your ex-girlfriend back fast. So, if you’re a nervous person by nature, suck-it-up, drop some Dutch Courage and let your ex-girlfriend see you laughing, joking and winning respect from your peers.
- Be Powerful: Confidence goes hand-in-hand with power and it’s something that women find just as sexy, and something that you can use to get you ex-girlfriend back. It’s a primal desire for them to seek the leader of the pack, the one who others look up to and seek guidance from.
6. Make Her Love You Again
To get your ex-girlfriend back, you first need to remember that she’s not just like any other girl and winning her over isn’t the same as winning the affections of an attractive woman at a club. Your ex-girlfriend once had feelings for you, she has shared many intimate moments with you and she might have even loved you.
These feelings don’t come easy, and they tend to stick around. Simply put, whatever anger, hatred or even indifference she felt for you when she left you, and however much contempt she showed, she still has feelings for you — they’re just buried deep down.
Your goal is to bring these to the surface, and jealousy can do just that, because when you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, the green-eyed monster is your best friend. Nothing will get her attention more than another girl on your arm.
To a woman, a man who is taken is hard to get, and a man who is hard to get is infinitely more desirable. Also, she loved you once and will feel betrayed and hurt when she sees you with someone else.
Get A New Girlfriend on Your Arm
If you’re someone who doesn’t have an issue finding a girlfriend then this will be easier. Just hook-up with someone new and make sure you girlfriend sees you together or sees pictures of you together.
The more beautiful she is, the better, and if she is younger, slimmer and/or more successful than your girlfriend, then that’s even better. Few things will annoy your ex-girlfriend more than the thought that you have traded-up.
If you have an issue finding new girlfriends and if that’s part of the reason you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, then all hope is not lost. You just have to sink a little lower to get the reaction that you want from her.
You can ask an attractive friend or friend of a friend to pose as your girlfriend. Tell her your story, get her on your side and she might feel enough pity for you to do you this favor.
You can even “hire” a girlfriend, and there are a few ways you can do this:
- Escort: There are girls selling their time in every major town and city, and for a cost they will go anywhere with you and do anything that you want. They are beautiful, confident and perfect for the role, but they can also be expensive.
- Online Girlfriend: On sites like Fiverr you can pay beautiful girls to pretend to be your girlfriend on social media. If you pay for the full service and get them involved with liking and commenting, as well as changing their relationship status, you can really make your ex-girlfriend jealous.
- Love Yourself: If you are desperate, have no money or choice and are prepared to do all that you can to get your ex-girlfriend back, then simply create a fake profile and be your own girlfriend. Just don’t be too obvious about it otherwise it will back-fire terribly and you will look like a desperate fool.
5. Take the Blame and be Romantic
Anybody who told you that the thing a woman wants to hear more the most is “I love you”, was lying, because the words they really enjoy hearing the most are “it was all my fault”. Few men will ever own up to making a mistake, even if it was obviously their fault, and this annoys women as much as it would annoy you.
When the relationship has ended and you have given her time to settle, then send her something and attach a note. On this note you should let her know that you’re not going to pester her and that you’re not going to insist she take you back.
Tell her that your only purpose is to apologize for everything, to tell her that you’re sorry, that you love her and that you’re thankful for all of the times you shared. Tell her that you want to remain friends and that you wish her the best of luck with her new relationship.
This is something that can work by itself, but most of the time it is something that you should use alongside another techniques described in this article.
Do Not Go Overboard
Do not push your luck and don’t overdo it. Sensitivity is good and most women like to see this in a man, but they don’t want a groveling, crying baby.
You want her to think that you have gotten over her, while also thinking that you are nicer, kinder and more honest than she ever gave you credit for. While the romantic gesture warms her heart, the message will make her think twice.
4. Get In Good With Her Friends/Family
Want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend to want you back when it seems that she no longer cares? You have to make her care, and one of the best ways to do that, is to make her family and friends care first.
Focus on the Ones She Loves
They have a very strong influence over her and will likely be the ones telling her how evil you are, how she made the right choice and how you weren’t good enough for her.
It doesn’t matter how nice you were to them or how wrong they are. They are on her side and want her to feel good about herself, so they rip you to pieces when talking to her and this will only make her hate you more.
If you show any signs of arrogance, or if you try to make your ex-girlfriend out to be a bad person and to come across as the hero, then your efforts will fail before they get off the ground. They love her, but they can take or leave you, so you have to tread very carefully.
If you do want to pick holes in her personality to get them on your side, then focus on one of her habits, one of her negative personality traits — something that everyone will know about and few people will like.
She might be overly stubborn, she might be a bad listener, she might be very noisy, very aggressive or even very quiet. The point is, her friends and family will know these traits and will be as annoyed by them as you are, so you can use them to bridge the gap and to get them on your side.
Do Not Lie To Her Family and Friends
Of course, you still need to be honest with them. You need to admit that you might not have been the best boyfriend, and that you’re not perfect, but that you always tried your best and that you loved her.
If you can get an “aww” response from any female friend or family member, then your job is complete. They will do the rest of the work for you and you will just need to wait for a phone call and an apology.
You don’t even need to be so devious though, as simply maintaining a connection to her friends and family may be enough. This will allow you to remain in her life, which in turn will ensure that you are always in her thoughts, you are always there.
And if you’re always there, then it’s just a matter of time before she seeks your help or support, and it’s just a matter of time before you two get back together.
3. Don’t Give Up to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back
Want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she has a boyfriend? It’s simple, just show her that you do not care.
When she has a boyfriend, things are a little trickier, but that changes if the relationship has just started or if she left you for someone new.
Love Over Lust
Lust can make us do things that we regret. You’ll know this yourself if you have ever found yourself staring at another woman or daydreaming about sleeping with another woman, knowing that if you do, the relationship you have invested so much time in will be over.
Women are more emotionally attached than men, but they still act out on lust and they still make mistakes.
All you need to do is give them time to realize their mistake, time for that short-acting lust to fade and time for it to be replaced by the feelings of love that she still harbors for you.
In this case, just make sure that you:
- Remain in her Life: If you’re always on hand, then you will be there to support her when she needs you and you’ll be there to reignite her love when her lust fades.
- Love Her: Do not try anything romantic with her, but love her like you would love a best friend. This can be difficult when she has a boyfriend, but it will remain her of what’s important in a relationship.
- Wait: You don’t need to sabotage anything, just let things take their natural course. She will argue with her new boyfriend and while these arguments usually turn into nothing, if you’re there to support her and love her, it might lead her back into your arms.
2. Remind Her of the Good Times
Don’t stress yourself asking how to get your girl back, and don’t focus too much on the future. Look to the past, to the time when she first fell in love with you.
There is no such thing as love at first sight, so it wasn’t your looks she fell for. It was the time you spent together, the things you did for her, the things you said to her. There are moments that you may still remember fondly, moments that she will probably remember fondly as well.
You know yourself that when someone ends a relationship, they can’t help but recall the good times and wonder if they made a mistake. They will counteract this by focusing on the bad times, convincing themselves they made the right choice.
Make Her Remember The Good Times
Your goal is to make her remember the good times and to forgot the bad.
When you talk to her, don’t push her into getting back with you. Just tell her that you’re happy to be friends and that your relationship and the time you spent together is too good to forget. You can then remind her of the funny times, the fun times and the good times.
Leave the romantic stuff for later, just focus on the fun stuff for now. “Like” old holiday pictures of you two together on Facebook, or ask friends to comment on them to bring them back to the top of her newsfeed.
Drop casual mentions of the good times into conversations, find any excuse you can and any link you can, to remind her of a moment that was filled with fun and laughter.
Once she has stopped hating you and no longer sees your relationship as a waste of time, it’s time to pull out the big guns and to get her focused on the romantic times, the sexy times, the times that defined your relationship.
Struggling for ways to ignite her memory? Read on, as this could be crucial in your efforts to get your ex-girlfriend back:
Find Items That Trigger Memories
Whether you lived together or not, you will have items in your home that belonged to her. Gather these together and send her a message, asking her to pick them up.
Once she has agreed to come around and pick those items up, you can slip some photographs, mementoes and other items in there that will spark her memory.
Give Her Gifts
Women appreciate gifts more than anything and while it’s too late to win her back with diamonds and flowers now, it’s not too late to remind her of the times you bought something that made her squeal with joy.
Drop these into conversation, leave them in the box of her belongings — do anything you can to remind her.
Use Social Media To Your Advantage
Social networks are crucial to this step, as they all contain memories. Even if she has blocked you, there is a good chance you will still have connections. So, think about asking friends to like or comment on posts that your ex-girlfriend will look back on fondly.
If she commented on that post or was tagged in it, then she will see it when it has new activity.
1. Take a Leap
You have to be very careful with this one, because it wont work with all women and with some of them it might do you more harm than good. Simply put, you need to offer the a commitment that you didn’t offer them before.
As we have already discussed, women very rarely tell the man the truth, so break-ups are often a mystery. However, relationship experts agree that the vast majority of adult relationships, especially those that ran for several years, end because of commitment issues.
Men just aren’t as ready and willing to settle down as women are, and most of the time they are oblivious to the fact that this is what their girlfriend wants. So, to get your ex-girlfriend back, you just need to commit to making her more than just your girlfriend.
Under no circumstances should you ask her to marry you as soon as she breaks up with you. She has probably made her anger and her contempt clear, and a proposition for marriage will just look like a last-ditch and dishonest gesture on your part.
Instead, this should be your secret weapon. If the other tips and techniques listed here work for you, and if you begin to reestablish a relationship with you ex, then take things to the next level.
Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back by Taking Your Relationship To The Next Level
This is the moment you can ask her out, the moment that you can ask her to marry you. Only you can know which one of these is right, but if you’re not sure, then it’s best to play it safe as you wouldn’t want to scare her away.
Of course, if your relationship ended because of commitment issues, if the subject of marriage has been brought up previously or if you just feel that this is the right time, then it’s a leap of faith that could pay off.
Having others around, and even popping the question in front of her friends (assuming they like you) or family will make her think twice about saying no. If she genuinely doesn’t want to, of course, then she will refuse, but if she is in the least bit indifferent or undecided, then she will almost certainly say yes.